Our longest running contributor, Self Help Africa Business Representative Ronan Scully shares his wisdom on life, religion and wellness.
“The announcement from the aeroplane pilot in the cockpit was not welcome. Our plane was being held on the runway because of bad weather ahead on our flight path. Fifteen minutes passed, then thirty, then an hour. With almost every seat in the plane occupied, the passengers were already primed for irritability. As the delays mounted, they progressed from being restless to downright angry. Some cursed. Others threatened to sue the airline. We were witnessing what is now being called “air rage.” The only one who seemed unperturbed was the Poor Clare Nun seated next to me. With her peaceful face and smile, dressed in long flowing brown robes, she sat calmly praying the rosary on her rosary prayer beads. Catching my eye, she remarked: “This is an opportunity to practice the slow work of God by being patient.”
Spiritual Practice
“Patience is a virtue.” We hear this saying all our lives, and it seems simple enough to understand and aspire to. It means knowing it will happen and giving it time to happen. Yet familiarity and simplicity may be the very things that keep us from considering patience a necessary spiritual practice, an avenue for strengthened relationships with ourselves, others, and God.
The ultimate example of patience is expressed for us in the life of Jesus, who was patient with Himself as He came to appreciate who He was, with His disciples who betrayed Him, and with His Father, whose plan was not an easy one to accept. St. Paul also recognized patience as one of the “Fruits of the Holy Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-23). Patience is a spiritual discipline that results in the gifts of greater calm, faith, hope, resilience, and wisdom in our lives. But being patient can be difficult for some of us.
I know it can be for me, because when I want or need something right away and I don’t receive it, I can get really upset. Being upset with the situation or a person can be emotionally hard to navigate. We live in a world offering fast food, instant messaging, on-demand movies, and immediate answers to the most trivial or profound questions. We don’t like to wait or be patient.
Some even feel their blood pressure rise when their line at the local grocery shop or at the bank or at the airport moves slower than those around them. Patience, the ability to put our desires on hold for a time, is a precious and rare virtue and a true fruit of the Holy Spirit. Therefore the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter, nevertheless without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace and joy.
Help Needed
Most of us should admit we could use a little help in this area when it comes to being patient. This is where I have learned to put my faith into action. I want to share with you what I have learned about developing a deeper relationship with God through having patience. When considering the concept of patience, the words “slow,” “calm,” and “accepting” quickly come to mind.
I am drawn to consider more deeply because clearly there’s more to the concept of patience that these immediate words miss entirely. Ultimately, God is at the root of patience, so this deeper aspect must be revealed slowly, as I’m capable of understanding. Patience is based on deep trust in God. More than simply a willful or virtuous act, patience is a posture of heart that embraces the conviction that God’s timing is far more important than my own.
As Teilhard de Chardin reminds us: “Above all, trust in the slow work of God.” When I trust God’s perfect timing, my inner peace remains intact, even when confronted with delays or a slow pace of action or progress. I remember that God is in control, and God knows what he’s doing. At last, I’ve come to realize that God’s “slow work” is where his best masterpieces lie, for time is often an ally where creation is concerned. Growth happens when I trust God. Fears, anxieties, frustrations dissipate, dissolve and fade away. Love grows and Peace expands. I find St Teresa of Avila’s prayer helpful in this regard: “Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things are passing away. Patience obtains all things. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices.”
Connect with God
We must often proceed slowly, step by step, little by little. There is no way to push the river or hasten the harvest. Instead, spiritual maturity comes through diligence, persistence, and patiently waiting on God’s grace. We forget that God’s timing is not our own, and that waiting and having patience can be a sacred act of trust and faith. It is in the quiet spaces that we find a unique opportunity to connect with God.
Silence, patience and stillness open our hearts to the Divine presence that often goes unnoticed amidst the noise of daily life. It is in these moments of waiting, of being patient, when we allow ourselves to be still, that we can truly hear God’s voice. There is a profound grace in learning to be patient, in embracing the slow and deliberate pace of our journey. Patience in prayer teaches us to live more fully in the present, to trust in God’s timing, and to appreciate the beauty of each moment.
This patient waiting helps us build resilience and fosters a deeper sense of gratitude, peace and joy, shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have. It allows us to see the hand of God at work in our lives, often in ways we do not immediately understand. We can take true comfort in God’s limitless patience with us, and make use of that to strengthen our trust and faith in Him.
The more we have trust and faith in God and the people we love, the greater our ability to be patient with them and to love them more fully. Cultivating resilience, our capacity to wait for God, ourselves, and others is a pursuit that can bear meaningful change in our lives, especially as we come to a recognition that patience is an active, not a passive, activity.
In that action, our opportunity is to invoke and connect with God rather than focus on an irritation. Here we can discover the great companion of patience, which is wisdom, the heart of spiritual maturity and accept St. Paul’s message that in our difficulties, “our faith is enlarged” (Thessalonians 1:3). Or as the Poor Clare Nun remarked to me in the opening story of this thought for the week, “This is an opportunity to practice the slow work of God by being patient.”
Patient Waiting
Keep listening, trusting and being patient and you will find your hope during this time. As Romans 8:24-25 says, “Hope that is seen is not hope at all. Who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”
As the following prayer poem that I like to pray by John O’Donohue called, “This is the Time to Be Slow” goes, “This is the time to be slow, Lie low to the wall until the bitter weather passes. Try, as best as you can, not to let the wire brush of doubt scrape from your heart all sense of yourself and your hesitant light. If you remain generous, Time will come good and you will find your feet again on fresh pastures of promise, Where the air will be kind and blushed with beginning. Amen.”
Thought for the Week
As your thought for the week, remember that patience is more than not getting upset while waiting for something. Patience is a virtue. It is God’s manifestation of His love, forgiveness and grace for each one of us. There is no right or wrong way to put patience into practice.
But I want to encourage you that no matter the problem or challenge you are facing, try to follow these important tips that I am now giving you to help you through it and to cooperate with the Holy Spirit to become more patient. I promise it will work if you put in the effort! Slow down. Practice prayer and meditation. Be present. Show gratitude. Practice acceptance. Read God’s Word. Pray for God to give you the faith you need to trust him with situations in which you need to wait.
When you trust that God has your best interests at heart, you’ll find it easier to be patient. Think about the ways God has worked in your life in the past, and expect more blessings in the future. Make it a habit of praying about anger or disappointment as it wells up within you, asking God to deal with the situations that cause frustration and give you the patience you need to persevere.
Ask God to show how you can slow down your pace in life to better hear how he is guiding you. Let me leave you with this Prayer for Patience that I like to pray regularly and that helps me in times when I need to practice the slow work of God by being patient; “Patient God, You give me so many opportunities to practice patience. Know that it is not easy, that I struggle to be serene. Give me what I need to find the calm deep within that helps me give patient love to others, to myself, and to You. May I endure every test of my patience by slowing down, breathing deeply, and knowing that You are my God. Grant us the patience to endure difficult times and trust in your perfect timing.
“When we are anxious and eager for quick resolutions, remind us that your timing is always best. Help us to wait with hope and faith, believing that you are working all things for our good. Teach us to be patient with ourselves and others, reflecting your grace in our interactions. Amen.”
